And so today at long last, Star Wars: The Force Awakens gets released amidst a raging electrical storm of hype that, from a merchandising standpoint, has reached sort of a ridiculously fevered pitch. When I was a kid, it was mostly toys that got marketed alongside the movies, items geared almost exclusively toward children - action figures, puzzles, the odd lunch box. I had a pair of Darth Vader Underoos once (no, really...), and I seem to recall a breakfast cereal hitting store shelves just ahead of 1983's Return of the Jedi. They were called C-3PO's.
They were disgusting.
But these days, adults are in on the action. Fiat and Nissan are both sponsors of the movie. I've seen Star Wars mascara, a Star Wars toaster, Star Wars spice rack, measuring cup set, high heel shoes, purses, key chains, bottle openers, bed linens and laptop sleeves. There is an R2-D2 tea pot available, a Death Star waffle iron, a Chewbacca tote bag, and something being sold at Wal-Mart that looks like an adult-sized Yoda Snuggie.
Clearly, there have been no holds barred in the merchandising arena, when it comes to this much anticipated Episode VII.
As I write this, news and social media outlets are ablaze with the chatter that has been slowly building ever since it was announced that George Lucas had sold the Star Wars universe to Disney, and local theaters are already seeing lines form. It's attack of the "super fans", the people who camp out early, dress up like their favorite characters, the ones willing to stand in an endless line for hours on end, a line leading only to the unbearably loud and cramped conditions of a fully packed movie theater, just to be able to say they were the first to see it.
No thank you. I'm a fan for sure, can't deny I've been anticipating this release like so many others. One of my earliest memories is going to see A New Hope (back when it was just called Star Wars) at the movie theater with my dad and older brother. I was four years old, and it was pouring rain, and the event led to a childhood pretty much immersed in a galaxy far, far away, then having the joy of revisiting it all with my son years later.
But I'm waiting until January to see The Force Awakens, when the crowds have thinned out and the hype has died down. If, in that time, I stumble across an on-line spoiler (and given some of the rumors that have been floating around in the lead-up, I just might), then so be it.
And it goes without saying (er, at least I hope it does!) that I won't be dressing up. I've never been a fan of dressing up for anything, even Halloween, even as a kid. I'm certainly not about to pretend I'm a Sith Lord in public (or private). And anyway, because of the sick state of the world today, most theaters are banning movie-goers from wearing masks, so the question immediately becomes: what's the point?
Without the mask, it's just someone in a dark robe holding a plastic light saber, and nobody wants to look at that, or, I'd venture, sit next to that person inside the theater.
When you really think about it, the Star Wars franchise is something beyond belief. In the last 40 years, it has grown steadily, surviving first a 16-year drought with no movies and virtually no new content at all, and then some serious backlash from a disappointed public when The Phantom Menace was released in 1999. This was followed by an only slightly less indignant response to 2002's Attack of the Clones. 2005's Revenge of the Sith smoothed ruffled feathers a little, but on balance, fans were left with a bad taste in their mouth from all three prequels, and yet the popularity of the franchise has only grown. It might be said that video game merchandising during this time, that is, the constant recruitment of new fans among the young (some stellar games were released: Shadows of the Empire, Battlefront, Jedi Outcast, Knights of the Old Republic among them...), went a long toward keeping Star Wars fresh.
Now, director J.J. Abrams has a chance to reinvigorate the entire machine, essentially by doing what he did with the Star Trek movies, or what Christopher Nolan did to Batman: leave the architecture of the story alone, but undergo a complete interior makeover.
That's what's everyone's saying, at least. But truth be told, I wasn't all that disappointed by the Star Wars prequels. I think the only difference between the old movies and the new movies is the acting. For example: Carrie Fisher is spunky and dynamic as Princess Leia, whereas Natalie Portman is a total dud as Padme. Mark Hamill's reaction when he learns that Darth Vader is his father is over-the-top, but he delivers the heaping helping of anguish convincingly, whereas similar shit fits thrown by Hayden Christensen in an effort to foreshadow his becoming Darth Vader just make you want to smack the sulky look off his face.
Other than that, the first six movies are all exactly the same, in my opinion. Same wooden dialogue, same clutzy scene changes, same patchwork of plot lines (I've never been at all convinced that Lucas had these stories mapped out in the early 1970s...), same annoying alien creatures. Fans and critics really savaged Jar Jar Binks, but come on, were the Ewoks any less vomit inducing?
I think that when the first prequel came out, we were different, as a society. By 1999, we were expecting much, much more than people could have imagined in 1977. Those poor prequels were almost destined to not live up to the hype, destined to be hated, not just by the type of people who show up early and stand in line dressed as Darth Vader, but by casual movie-goers as well.
Hopefully that will not be the case now. Going by what Abrams was able to do with the Star Trek movies, I'm thinking it won't be. I'm thinking Episode VII will live up to the hype.
And suddenly I'm thinking I won't (can't) wait until January.
But I'm still not dressing up.
Those Darth Vader Underoos don't fit me anymore, anyway...;)
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UPDATE 12/22/15: Went to see The Force Awakens over the weekend (and bonus: in a theater with just eight other people in it!). It DOES live up to the hype. Well written, well shot, and well-acted. The best of seven, for sure.
